Saturday MAC Games: Television Sold Separately

Of the eight games, you have your sensible Game of the Week (Miami at CMU), your token nonconference roadie at a national program (WMU at Notre Dame), and six games you ought attend in person if you have any chance of watching. (That, or live chat with us tomorrow as you smash F5 on your Flash-based game updating applicaction). Are any delectable upsets in the wings? Oh, I'd hate the ruin the surprise.

Well, sure, Miami's getting healthier. And none of those guys may be Ryan Kennedy (next week, perhaps). And look at all those noxious fumes they left behind in Cincinnati, Missouri, and Florida. So I can't really give them much of a chance as they travel to CMU to ...

...wait.

[slaps self]

Central Michigan, as much as they battled against the Virginia Technical School of Universities, ain't the CMU we've come to know and love for the last four years. I know I keep saying this ... but it still hasn't sunk in, and it's the only way I'll learn.

I gotta stop writing these guys in for a 'W' every time they play a MAC game. Ain't gonna happen. The Chippewas lead the league in penalty yards per game (63.5) and MIami is well-disciplined in the art of the Turnover Dragon. Average team beats less-average team, and the RedHawks are suddenly 3-0. UPSET SHIRUKEN. Guess: Miami 31, CMU 28

Will Chester Stewart and his pass-miss-happy antics cause someone else to start at quarterback for Temple? We may never know. But we do know this: won't make a friggin' iota of difference. Guess: Temple 38, BGSU 20

Not sure what's more exciting: this game or HOT MERGING ACTION.

But there's a nice chance for Eastern Michigan's first win in the Ronenglishzoic Era. But not too nice. More like "Indianapolis nice." Guess: Ball State 17, EMU 10

And just where is your hybrid quarterback, Akron? Would they dare try a Matt Nicely approach? Doubtful. All Matts are inherently dicks. When in doubt, go with the ghost. Guess: OHIO 36, Akron 17

If this game doesn't fuel Notre Dame-to-the-MAC rumors, I don't know what will. It would cause Brian Kelly's coaching career to come full circle. Especially if Grand Valley State is also annexed. They just better home those force field jerseys work. Should they fail, perhaps a halfway-decent defense can pick up the slack. Guess: Notre Dame 28, WMU 14

Look, just because one team moved their quarterback to tight end doesn't mean it automatically makes you good. But they're going to try it anyway with backup QB Alex Dennison. NIU, meanwhile, will move Chad Spann from the backfield to the end zone. AWSEEWHATJUSTHAPPENEDTHERE? Guess: Northern Illinois 35, Buffalo 24

They're going to retire Josh Cribbs's number in two weeks at a Kent State home game, and the reason they're waiting to do that is that hopefully, HOPEFULLY, they can declare him eligible for Saturday's game against a defense, which isn't so much mighty as it is 11 mammals with opposable thumbs, something that Kent State has struggled with all year. Guess: Toledo 24, Kent State 7