Saturday MAC Football Review: Steak Achieved

Paragraphs about today's MAC football:

Northern Illinois 59, Ball State 21 — The coveted Bronze Stalk returns in the DeKalb trophy case. They worked all year for the Bronze Stalk, I've been told. But as a side prize, NIU also clinches the MAC West. Give three scores to Chad Spann, as he's good for them, and Chandler Harnish tossed two more scores to Nathan Palmer. Over half of Ball State's 155 passing yards came on a 80-yard strike to Jack Tomlinson. This is how it was. Their season finishes at 4-8, which sounds about right. NIU rises to 9-2, and Zoddammit, somebody rank them already. They finish out the year at Eastern Michigan. ...Speaking of!

Eastern Michigan 21, Buffalo 17 — Glory be to the Eagles, who for once never trailed in this game to pick up their second win. UB had a shot at the end, however, on the Eagles 39-yard line, but after Jerry Davis shook off a sack and ran around, he heaved the ball over the end zone. Hail Mary, too much air, the loss is with thee. Also, keep some good vibes pulsating for EMU defensive back Arrington Hicks, who was helped off the field by an ambulance in the final minute of the game after an apparent head injury. It very much soured the exciting finish, although injuries just happen, so nobody's to blame. As previously mentioned, EMU (2-9) finishes next week against NIU, and Buffalo (also 2-9) gets winless Akron.

Another goofy stat pointed out by Eagle Totem: EMU has never lost to Buffalo (4-0).

Western Michigan 38, Kent State 3 — In a world where fans salivate for intriguing offense-versus-defense matchups, irresistable force cleaned its house with the immovable object. The Flashes failed to make it even close as they were stonewalled on two 4th and goals. When's the last time somebody rolled up 431 yards of offense and had only a field goal on the scoreboard? By comaprison, WMU had only 426 yards. Lucky for them, they don't count yards as points. But it was a different way WMU rolled up their points; it was by the ground. Brian Fields had 132 yards and Tevin Drake pitched in 102. Between them and Dareyon Chance, they had four rushing touchdowns. Total attendance: 8,763. (Less than UB-EMU.)

Next week, WMU goes to Bowling Green, while disappointing Kent State — guaranteed to finish fourth in the MAC East — tries to spoil OHIO's season in their finale.