Toledo vs NIU: How to Drink

Matt Kartozian-US PRESSWIRE

Please drink responsibly. We are not responsible for your actions.

Grab your whiskey, grab your cheap beer, grab your hard ciders (stop laughing, they're tasty) because it's Wednesday Night MACtion Drinking Night! That's my favorite day of the week!

We already know how to watch the game, but now we need to go over the ground rules of how to drink while watching it. Let's get down to the funny of it all and give you all the rules to play by.

Drink one if...

...opening kickoff (make this one a chug)

...Jordan Lynch runs the ball.

...Terrance Owens attempts a pass.

...Toledo runs a play with David Fluellen on the sidelines.

...somebody uses the phrase "MACtion".

...every first down and touch down.

...they talk about Toledo's pink uniforms

Drink two if...

...start of the second quarter

...they talk about Owens being drafted by the San Diego Padres.

...or for using any other baseball terminology, for that matter.

...one of the broadcasters compares Lynch to Tim Tebow (BONUS: do "the Tebow", have somebody take a picture and post it onto Twitter before you drink).

...squib kick

...every time they replay Lynch's run against Ball State when Jonathan Newsome was already on top of him.

Drink three if...

...start of the third quarter

...Lynch or Khalil Mack being talked about in reference to the upcoming NFL Draft.

...replays of last season's Orange Bowl.

...comparing Lynch to other quarterbacks in the nation.

..."this is why NIU won't go to a BCS Bowl game"

...somebody settles for a field goal

...interception (chug the first drink if it's a "pick six")

Take a shot if...

...start of the fourth quarter

...pooch punt

...onside kick (double shot if the kicking team recovers the ball)

..."We Want Bama" sign.

...they call this a rivalry game.

...Heisman discussion.

..."this is why NIU will go to a BCS Bowl game"

..."Fresno State"

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