Last November, Ohio University shocked Bobcat Nation when it announced the athletic department would be selling the naming rights to both the Convocation Center and the playing surface at Peden Stadium. Months later, the school has yet to find suitable a buyer for either stadium. Here's what we would name the stadiums if we had the call.
For Peden Stadium:
#FEST Field at Peden Stadium
Hoping to sell more tickets to this week's 12Fest, Prime Social Group buys the naming rights to Peden's field and names it after Athens' annual alcohol-fueled, mud-covered music festival.
- The stadium is now alcohol friendly, and encourages students to BYOB.
- Ohio makes waves across the NCAA by installing a mud playing surface.
- Each home game features an appearance from a mediocre rapper (see: Juicy J, RiFF RAFF) to perform a halftime show.
- The Bobcats debut new home and alternate jerseys to mark the renaming.
Prokos Rentals Field at Peden Stadium
Athens' most notorious landlord pressures Jim Schaus into signing what he thinks is a document which sells the naming rights of the stadium. Later, it turns out he just signed a one-year lease.
- Ohio now must pay rent in order to host home games at Peden Stadium. Being in the Athens housing market, rent is ridiculously high for the modest arrangements. Unbeknownst to Prokos, the Bobcats rent out home games to the women's soccer team in order to help with the payments.
- Stadium lights, the scoreboard and sound system all break. None will be fixed by the end of the season.
- Parking rates increase to $90 per game.
- The Bobcats are forced to move all of their equipment out of the stadium immediately after their final game. NO EXCEPTIONS.
$4.75 Field at Peden Stadium
Looking to gain an edge on the other area Chinese restaurants, Peking Express names Peden's field after its famous combo meal: Rice or lo mein and three meats for just $4.75.
- Instead of displaying replays and ads, Peden's video board will now exclusively play Chinese soap operas.
- Mimicking the combo meal, Ohio's new season ticket program allows fans to pick their seats and any combination of three home games, for the low, low price of $4.75 a seat.
- The concession stand is now replaced with the (in)famous buffet line.
For the Convocation Center:
Goodman & Associates Arena
Intrigued by the number of #BetterCallSaul tweets coming from the Athens area this weekend, a mysterious law firm based in Albuquerque, New Mexico buys the Convo naming rights.
- When not hosting basketball, volleyball and wrestling, the arena is inexplicably used for Lazer Tag.
- A balding, older man named Mike Ehrmantraut takes over as head of security at the arena. All trespassers disappear, never to be seen again.
- Meth use skyrockets on West Green.
The C.I. Center
One of Court Street's most popular and least sanitary bars, The C.I., turns to the Convocation Center to gain an on-campus presence.
- The stall doors are immediately removed from the men's toilets. This will also mark the final time the bathrooms will be cleaned.
- Athletes and coaches begin complaining about the sticky playing surface.
- Free peanuts, all day every day!
- Concession stands replaced with dimly lit bars that stink of urine and stale beer.
The Fun Barn Fieldhouse
Nelsonville premier movie-going experience may look scary from the outside, but the inside is...well, cheap.
- Concession prices plummet. Hot dogs and popcorn cost just 50 cents, and a large drink goes for just $1. And to top it all off: free nacho cheese!
- Attendance grows steadily over the next few seasons. However, most of this increase comes from kid's birthday parties held on game day.
- Bumper cars and arcade games are added throughout the concourse.
Can you think of any better names? Let us know in the comments section below.