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Football
8 p.m. — Toledo at Bowling Green (TV: ESPN2): Words can't quantify how happy this win would make me, and resultantly all of you. A 2-8 team winning at a 6-4 team's stadium doesn't sound very plausible, until you realize that somehow 2-9 Wyoming was able to wyom their way to a Glass Bowl victory. So can the equally gakkable Falcons, who fill substandard games with big plays. Aw, who am I kidding. Guess: Toledo 42, Bowling Green 17
6 p.m. — Miami at Akron (TV: ESPNU): Oh my god this football game is happening like right now. Like RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW.
Basketball
7 p.m. — Indiana State at Ball State: Just the singular hoops game tonight. The Cardinals try to keep their perfect 1-0 record alive against Sycamores, which are a kind of tree, but the players aren't actually trees. Ya follow that? I thought there were two games tonight, but that's because...
Eastern Michigan 79, Madonna 70 — There was a game at noon today. Wednesday afternoon. No TV ... just a game at noon. I understand it was Education Day in Ypsilanti as a bunch of tykes were let out to watch this game. The attendance was still under 3,000 ... so not, like, the entire state of Michigan's middle school kids.