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MAC Football Upsets, Rated On The Richter-Scoville Scale

Remember this 2008 upset? It probably set the Wolverines onto a path of dismay that they've yet to recover from. (Photo via <a href="" target="new">Flickr/wpierce76</a>)
Remember this 2008 upset? It probably set the Wolverines onto a path of dismay that they've yet to recover from. (Photo via Flickr/wpierce76)

Granted, the actual conference races are pretty fun, usually because they're wide open. If a team goes 0-4 to top-ranked teams, then there's no problem, because it's a brand new season. However ... c'mon, the real insanity and exuberance comes mostly before MAC play begins. We love the upsets. We look forward to them.

Some of you noticed that I didn't predict many wins over the AQ conferences. That's because ... well, they'll sneak up on ya. You never know. Central Michigan over Michigan State? Toledo over Michigan? Marshall over Kansas State? These wins were not supposed to happen. But sure as beans they did occur. And as much as the MAC will collectively regress in 2010 ... that's not to say the big upset will strike the heart of the mighty.

It could be ground-shaking. It could be mouth-watering. I don't know which one applies more, so I'll use both proper measurement scales. If you don't know — and us Midwest goons may be oblivious to both — The Richter Scale measures the power of earthquakes, while the Scoville scale rates the spiciness of food.

I've taken all the MAC football games, funneled out the conference/FCS opponents, and rated them on the Hustle Belt Hybrid Richter-Scoville Scale™.

If These Faults* Occur, You'll Be As Happy As Moments After A Taco Bell Dinner

September 18 — Colorado State at Miami
October 2 — Idaho at WMU
October 2 — Wyoming at Toledo
October 30 — UL-Lafayette at Ohio
November 13 — Army at Kent State

Mild Wins, Like A Refreshing Pico de Gallo That Shakes Your Glass Of Water

September 4 — Army at EMU
September 4 — BGSU at Troy
September 11 — BGSU at Tulsa
September 18 — Marshall at BGSU
September 18 — UCF at Buffalo
September 25** — Ohio at Marshall
October 2 — Temple at Army

You'll Blow Your Nose Out Of Joy And The Jamaican Jerk

September 2 — NIU at Iowa State
September 11 — Buffalo at Baylor
September 25** — Akron at Indiana
September 25** — NIU at Minnesota
October 9 — EMU at Vanderbilt
October 23 — EMU at Virginia
November 13 — CMU at Navy

Fit For An Above-The-Fold Story, Bumping The One About The Large Truck Driving By Your House

September 3 — Arizona at Toledo
September 4 — Syracuse at Akron
September 4 — WMU at Michigan State
September 18 — Akron at Kentucky
September 18 — NIU at Illinois
September 18 — UConn at Temple
September 18 — Ball State at Purdue
September 25** — Toledo at Purdue
September 25** — CMU at Northwestern

Potential Candidates For A Future List Of The Best MAC Upsets Ever, Which You'll Do After Ruining Your Date With An Oral Sex Teacher

September 11 — Kent State at Boston College
September 18 — Kent State at Penn State
September 25** — Temple at Penn State
September 25** — BGSU at Michigan
September 25** — Buffalo at UConn
October 9 — Miami at Cincinnati
October 9 — CMU at Virginia Tech
October 16 — WMU at Notre Dame

Ragnarök, The Battle of Norse Gods That Causes The Ground To Sink Into The Ocean

September 4 — Miami at Florida
September 18 — Ohio at Ohio State
September 25** — Miami at Missouri
September 25** — Ball State at Iowa
September 25** — EMU at Ohio State
October 9 — Toledo at Boise State

* - Get it? FAULTS?

** - Whoa. Circle September 25 on your calendar or calendar-shaped poster. 11 upsettable games. On that day, shit is going down like Cade McNown.