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Not to belabor the point, but these rankings are fun as all get-out. And extreme gratitude goes to the maker of this website which seems to have extrapolated every rating for every player on every team and made them sortable.
That enabled me to do the following: take each video game character rating and find out who in the Mid-American Conference has the best one. Now if you are not sure what the attribute means, don't worry, I took a pretty good guess at what I think it is.
(And a reminder, we already did overall ratings.)
Attribute | Description, I think | "Player" | Name | Value |
Strength | The condition of being strong | Miami RT #64 NIU DT #98 |
Josh Harvey Frank Boenzi |
92 |
Speed | The condition of being speedy | WMU HB #20 BGSU WR #10 |
Brian Fields Herve Coby |
94 |
Acceleration | The condition of being acceleration | Buffalo HB #32 Buffalo CB #4 WMU CB #24 |
Branden Oliver Cortney Lester Lewis Toler |
94 |
Agility | Avoiding players, questions, chores | Miami CB #3 | Dayonne Nunley | 93 |
Awareness | Wearing brightly-colored ribbons in the hopes that disease is eradicated |
UMass LT #72 | Nick Speller | 89 |
Break Tackle | Ability to do damage to fishing lures | WMU TE #85 | Blake Hammond | 86 |
Trucking | Getting busted down on bourbon street, set up like a bowling pin, or pining about what a long strange trip it's been |
NIU HB #20 | James Spence (now #34) |
89 |
Elusiveness | Ability to live like J.D. Salinger | OHIO HB #29 | Kyle Hammonds | 87 |
Ball Carrier Vision | Duh. Ability to see the ball carrier | OHIO HB #20 | Ryan Boykin | 83 |
Carrying | Ability to carry | Toledo WR #88 | Zach Rogers | 89 |
Stiff Arm | Inability to bend at the elbow | Ball State HB #33 |
Barrington Scott (now #3) |
91 |
Spin Move | Ability to do this [spins around] | Akron WR #88 Miami WR #88 |
Jerrod Dillard Luke Swift |
90 |
Juke Move | I forget what button the juke is but it's the ability to do that | Akron WR #3 | A.J. Price | 90 |
Catch | Being a hit at parties and other social gatherings | Miami WR #8 | Nick Harwell | 91 |
Spectacular catch | Being a spectacular hit at parties and other social gatherings | Miami WR #8 | Nick Harwell | 87 |
Catch in Traffic | I don't recommend this | Miami WR #8 | Nick Harwell | 83 |
Route Running | Remember the obstacle course from "Paperboy?" That | Miami WR #88 | Luke Swift | 89 |
Jumping | Ability to rock out as hard as possible to Van Halen | Buffalo WR #25 | John Dunmore | 97 |
Throwing Power | Just throwing the football as hard as you can ... | BGSU QB #7 WMU QB #14 |
Matt Schilz Alex Carder |
88 |
Throwing Accuracy | ... and hoping it hits something. | CMU QB #8 | Ryan Radcliff | 88 |
Impact Blocking | Ability to delete LOLcat caption pictures. | NIU LG #70 | Logan Pegram | 90 |
Run Blocking | Ability to block "Cannonball Run" sequels | OHIO RG #77 | Eric Herman | 88 |
Pass Blocking | Ability to block creepy dudes hitting on you | CMU LT #73 WMU RT #68 |
Jake Olson Dann O'Neill |
86 |
Stamina | Huh huh huh huh | Ball State CB #13 | Armand Dehaney | 99 |
Injury | Ability to not get injured. Or maybe it's likelihood that you do get injured. I actually don't know. |
Miami SS #37 | Pat Hinkel | 94 |
Tackle | Ability to tackle players, hard-hitting issues, large-scale sociological problems. |
Ball State MLB #8 BGSU MLB #5 |
Travis Freeman Dwayne Woods |
91 |
Hit Power | Ability to create powerful hits not unlike The Bee Gees | Toledo ROLB #38 | Robert Bell | 90 |
Power Move | Ability to transfer all your furniture into a new apartment in one day without help |
NIU LE #49 BGSU DT #91 |
Jason Meehan Chris Jones |
86 |
Finesse Move | Ability to transfer all your furniture into a new apartment with just one hand, length of time be damned |
BGSU DT #50 NIU ROLB #36 |
Darius Gilbert Tyrone Clark |
80 |
Block Shedding | Ability to donate neglected sacks of Legos to the underprivileged |
Buffalo LOLB #46 | Khalil Mack | 90 |
Pursuit | Ability to never give up and trust your instincts (© Peppy Hare 1997) |
Toledo ROLB #38 | Robert Bell | 90 |
Play Recognition | Knowing what is and isn't an Andrew Lloyd Webber production |
Toledo MLB #32 | Dan Molls | 90 |
Man Coverage | Ability to cover Man, the rise and fall of | Miami CB #6 NIU CB #11 |
D.J. Brown Rashaan Melvin |
88 |
Zone Coverage | Ability to cover which zones are for loading and unloading in airport terminals |
WMU CB #24 | Lewis Toler | 91 |
Press | Ability to cover anything, or at least blog about it | WMU SS #2 | Demetrius Pettway | 87 |
Kicking Power | How strong's your leg? Good. You can get it there, but that's not all that matters... |
Ball State P #18 | Scott Kovanda | 92 |
Kicking Accuracy | ...I mean what good's a pow'rful leg if y'can't control it? | Toledo K #85 | Jeremiah Detmer | 85 |
Return | Ability to be kind and rewind | CMU WR #84 | Titus Davis | 94 |