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Belt Loops: U.S. vs. Germany - Call In Sick, It's For National Pride

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Who is ready to watch America whoop the Germans at their own game?

Scott Olson

Today, the United States Men's National Soccer Team takes on Germany for a chance to advance to the knockout round of the World Cup.

SB Nation's 2014 World Cup Bracket'

The game is scheduled for noon E.T., a real bummer for millions of proud Americans who would love nothing more than to take down the Germans on an international stage in a game most of us don't even understand. Luckily for you, the German coach of the USMNT (how does that make any sense?) has a potential solution to help you catch his team dismantle his home country in the beautiful game.

Thanks Juergy. Yeah, he and I are cool like that.

Anyway, rather than getting witty and sharing a bunch of links you're likely not going to click on, I want to make sure we're all well-prepared for today's match, so first, watch this preview:

Now, let's go kick some German ass!