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Belt Loops: U.S. vs. Germany - Call In Sick, It's For National Pride

Who is ready to watch America whoop the Germans at their own game?

Scott Olson

Today, the United States Men's National Soccer Team takes on Germany for a chance to advance to the knockout round of the World Cup.

SB Nation's 2014 World Cup Bracket'

The game is scheduled for noon E.T., a real bummer for millions of proud Americans who would love nothing more than to take down the Germans on an international stage in a game most of us don't even understand. Luckily for you, the German coach of the USMNT (how does that make any sense?) has a potential solution to help you catch his team dismantle his home country in the beautiful game.

Thanks Juergy. Yeah, he and I are cool like that.

Anyway, rather than getting witty and sharing a bunch of links you're likely not going to click on, I want to make sure we're all well-prepared for today's match, so first, watch this preview:

Now, let's go kick some German ass!