How To Properly Prepare For Football Season

There's an old saying, August comes in like a lion and out like a pigskin. See what I did there? There are a mere five Saturdays in August, meaning there are just four football-less Saturdays left. In order to get ready for the season, here's a plan on what to do each Saturday:

Saturday, August 2 (Hey, that's today!):

Make sure all your team jerseys are washed and pressed and any tailgating equipment you need is cleaned. What's that? You're favorite jersey that isn't of any player in particular despite the fact that the number on the back of the jersey is of the star quarterback has a hole in it? And your spatula is rusted?

Go out to the store and get new ones. You can't be going to a tailgate with a rusty spatula. Of course, lets finish this article first and comment below before you start running errands.

Saturday, August 9:

It's never too soon to get used to the new names on your squad. You don't want to be that fan who just goes out there and doesn't know who the second string tackle is on the left side. That would just be embarrassing. Hop on YouTube and watch highlight reels of your freshman dominating the competition, most of whom are not FBS quality, then convince yourself that they'll continue to dominate against actual FBS competition. You can dream, that's what the off-season is for.

Saturday, August 16:

Start talking yourself into wins that will never happen. If both of that Big Ten teams quarterbacks get bronchitis, their running back gets suspended for off the field activities, and their start corner gets hit by a golf cart, by golly, we can win this thing! And if we can beat them, we're a shoe in for 10 wins and a bowl game!

Saturday, August 23:

The best way to spend your last football-less Saturday is a quiet day with those you love, like having a picnic or going to the beach. Just kidding, IT'S MORE FOOTBALL. Start scouring YouTube for last season's highlights. Think of it as the appetizer for the upcoming main course. What's that? Your team had only 1 win last season in MAC play? Well, just get that game tape from your buddy Phil down the street and relive the glory. What's that? You didn't even manage one win? I don't know what to tell you then. Maybe make little felt jersey's and paste them to your TV so it looks like your team has highlights, Miami fans.

Now just count down the days until football begins, knowing you are primed and ready. Nothing's worse than showing up to the first game ragged and out of football viewing shape. After all, this year is the year you win it all (Note: Ignore this last sentence unless you are a Bowling Green fan).

Let's hear it folks, how do you get ready for the football season?