MACtion returns this week. But what exactly is MACtion? Dig through the MACtionary to find the definition for many commonly used MAC football words and MAC-specific definitions for football terms.
Battle of I-75 (n.) — An annual fight for gridiron supremacy, dating back to 1919, between rivals Bowling Green and Toledo, situated just 25 miles apart from one another on Interstate 75.
The Battle for the Bell (n.) — An annual war waged between Bobcats and Thundering Herd in the Appalachian foothills along the southeastern Ohio - West Virginia border.
The Battle of the Bricks (n.) — An atrocious uniform design debuted by the Ohio Bobcats worn to cause spontaneous vomiting from their rival Miami RedHawks in their annual rivalry game.
B1G (adv.) — Being a self-serving snob; having an elitist attitude. ex. "Kirk Herbstreit is B1G."
The Bronze Stalk (n.) — A corn stalk sculpted from bronze, awarded to the winner of the Ball State - NIU football game each year since 2008.
Bull Run (n.) — A popular hangout for the mighty blue bulls of Buffalo.
Chips (n.) — short for "Chippewa", a rowdy fan base of maroon and gold crazies, salty tortilla chips that pair well with salsa; ex. "Those chips are so crazy, I swear their diet consists of beer and chips."
"Close The Gap" (phrase) — (1) One of the goals and mindsets instilled within the Eastern Michigan football program by new head coach Chris Creighton. (2) Something Ron English's orthodontist finds him or herself saying very frequently.
Cradle of Coaches (n.) — A magical baby cradle that has turned numerous infant coaches into the stuff of legends.
The Dark Times (n.) — See Temple's stint in the MAC:
Detroit (n.) — A bombed out shell of a once proud city; the stuff of nightmares. Definitely worse than Cleveland.
The Factory (n.) — Home of the mighty Eagles of Eastern Michigan. Also a parking lot.
#FalconFast (adv.) — A speed so fast it makes light feel jealous. ex. "Dave Clawson got out of Bowling Green #FalconFast."
"Fire Enos" (phrase) — The calling sign of a rebel group of Central Michigan Chippewas fans, known for their incessant battle to remove Dan Enos from his position as head of the Central Michigan football state.
fire up (v.) — to get pumped, to excite, to motivate; ex. "I fire up knowing we have incoming transfers from the Big Ten."
Golden Flashes (n.) — the trails left behind former Kent State All-American running back and kick returner Dri Archer in his short-lived comic strip series illustrated by Chuck Ayers. Also the mascot of Kent State University's athletic teams.
hick conference (phrase) — a derogatory term used by Philadelphians to describe the Mid-American Conference and its officials following a Nov. 2011 meltdown by the Temple Owls in Athens, Ohio.
Huskie Stadium (n.) — The castle of the dark dogs of DeKalb, where college football team's go to die. (nightmare fuel).
THE Hustle Belt (n.) — A crudely designed MS Paint championship belt, given annually to the MAC's best football player since the fall of 2013. Also the lightest championship belt in circulation, due to it's printer-paper construction.
ImMACulate (adv.) — A really great play.
LeFevour (n.) — Hysteria found mainly in Central Michigan fans worshiping the many accolades of quarterbacks with the first name "Dan" or "Daniel"; ex. "Oh, I shouldn't have partied too hard when I rushed the field after our win. I feel like I'm coming down with a LeFevour."
Lemboing (v.) —Increasing a school's win total on an annual basis
Lembotomy (n.) — The act of getting picked apart by the cerebral assassin himself, Pete Lembo. ex. "That Lembotomy the Colgate Raiders just received was textbook."
The Little Caesars Pizza Bowl (n.) — A pizza-free zone.
They have ran out of pizza for the media at the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl. How does that happen? pic.twitter.com/qXly7JFpqO— David Dermer (@The_Only_Derm) December 26, 2013
#LynchFor6 (n.) — A Jordan Lynch touchdown.
MAC Conference (n.) — A redundant phrase used by ESPN broadcasters.
MACrifice (n.): The act of getting slaughtered on the gridiron by a college football blueblood for a paycheck. SEE: Kent State's trip to Ohio State or Miami's trip to Michigan.
MACular degeneration (n.) — The annual occurrence of MAC teams failing in bowl games.
#MACtion (n.) — High-scoring college football that is played on a weeknight on some sub-station of ESPN (usually the tres) featuring fat guy touchdowns, legally blind referees and Desmond Howard's chili analysis. ex. "Apple pie, bourbon and #MACtion are three of America's best additions to society."
Marshall Thundering Herd (n.) — Backstabbing traders, not to be trusted with anything.
Michigan-MAC Trophy (n.) — A mitten.
Mid-America (n.) — A geographic region that slowly crept out of the Great Lakes region to encompass most of the United States east of the Mississippi River. See UCF in the MAC.
Mobile, Alabama (n.) — The popular winter vacation spot for members of the hick conference.
Molnared (v.) — Getting an entire fanbase worked up for a pair of one win season. See Also: Flecked. (ex: "The UMass fans were Molnard pretty hard in their transition to the FBS.")
UMass (v.) — Playing a sporting event (football preferably), in which a team (usually the UMass Minutemen) plays well enough to win up until the very last minute. (See Miami vs. UMass football, 2014)
UMass Minutemen (n.) — Friendly couchsurfers.
Miami RedHawks (n.) — The former team of platinum rapper Plies.
"Row The Boat" (n.) — A move performed by dancing broncos at the conclusion of the third quarter during Western Michigan football home games. Also the name of an ill dance mix by DJ Ill Mix.
safety (n.) — a penalty called for the act of throwing a ball away on the four-yard line in MAC play; same punishment as a traditional football safety.
shitbird (adj.) — a type of extreme failure. SEE: Ron English attempt as a head football coach.
Wagon Wheel (n.) — A rivalry trophy between heated rivals Akron and Kent State. Also a Darius Rucker song sung loudly by drunk MAC students.
#WTF (acronym.) — Worst To First, derived from the original #WTF, meaning "What the F**K".
Zips (n.) — A breed of mythological kangaroo found in Akron, Ohio; also the mascot of Terry Bowden's team.