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Belt Loops: Prepare to Die Edition

I'm fully aware that Belt Loops: Scholars of the First Sin would be the proper title, but sometimes you have to go with the title that sounds better, continuity be damned.

I just finished Dark Souls 2 this weekend. 36 hours of caution, killing, death, rebirth, more caution, more killing, and eventual death... again. (Again.) For those who haven’t played, the game is known for being beyond hard, even beyond Nintendo hard. You will die. You’ll die again. You’ll die many times more.

With each death, though, comes a little bit of knowledge that can help you beat the boss who just killed you. You’ll start to notice patterns in their attacks, little tells they have before they move. And, with each rebirth, you’re more prepared to face the challenge that you've faced many times before, maybe this is the time you finally defeat the roadblock in your way.

Now, you must be wondering at this point what this has to do with anything, especially on a MAC blog. Well for starters, would it kill you to ask a writer from your favorite blog how his weekend went? You never call anymore, you never write. I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL.

Secondly, it got me thinking about how I can (very) loosely relate a video game I just beat to my favorite team.  When the Massachusetts Minutemen entered the MAC, all they had were the tattered robes on their back and Mike Wegzyn. The struggle was mighty, needing ten games to notch their only win,a 22-14 beating of Akron which many called the greatest game of this generation [citation needed.]

Dark Souls 2.1

Rebirth. Lessons learned. You need strong recruiting to survive in the FBS. UMass came storming out in 2013, crushing the Miami Redhawks in the second game of the conference schedule. A game some called a religious experience [citation needed]. Hope was high for the Minutemen. Then came 6 more losses, another one win season.

Dark Souls 2.2

Rebirth. Lessons learned. You need more than a good recruiter. You need a good coach, a good quarterback. Offensive weapons. Enter Mark Whipple, Blake Frohnapfel, Jean Sifrin. The Kent State Golden Flashes were obliterated, never to play football again [citation needed]. The Eastern Michigan Eagles were the next victim just one week later. Reports say that they were last seen roaming the wilderness, muttering to themselves [citation needed]. The final sacrificial lamb to the slaughter slaughter was the Ball State Cardinals, who are still missing to this day [citation needed]. If you are aware of the whereabouts of the Cardinals, please contact local authorities. Three wins, topping the previous two seasons combined. Going into the next to last game of the season, Blake Frohnapfel got injured. The final two games are blowout losses.

Dark Souls 2.3

Rebirth, Lessons learned. As I got to the end of Dark Souls 2, the final boss had just a sliver of health left. Unfortunately, so did I. I made the gamble, closed in, and started swinging with reckless abandon. Unfortunately I come up one swing short, and throw my controller in frustration.

I go at it again, this time more cautious. I win easily, on my fifth try, and see the end credits roll. The Minutemen are primed to see the end credits roll this season, but they may come up one swing short. Either way, there will be a New Game+ waiting for them, where the teams are harder and there's no conference ties to help scheduling.

Dark Souls 2.4