The apathetically uninformed MAC fan's guide to the NFL Draft

I know what you're thinking. It's a Monday, you're on the internet, you're reading sports sites, and you're hoping that your boss or a client doesn't call you, need you, contact you, or acknowledge your existence in any form or fashion. That pesky work thing really cuts into your time wasting, and that's a real drag, man. Remember the old days when Monday wasn't so terrible. It was great being six.

Alas, you're an adult now, and digital time wasting waits for no man. Scour around your favorite big money team coverage this week and you'll likely find loads of columns on why Alabama Crimson Tide fans should watch the NFL Draft to see which of their current crop of athletes are about to join the 1%. You'll find plenty of evidence that the rich get richer and the football factories are alive and well throughout this great nation. #Merica.

For the casual MAC fan, the NFL Draft is something else entirely. It's less showtime and more optimism. It's the hoping. It's the wonderment. It's the question of whether or not a MAC alum will be joining the ranks of NFL athletes and carrying the mantle for the Little Conference that Could. Which team will Willie Beavers row his boat to? Will Matt Johnson join the conversation about small market quarterbacks that warrant a selection? Selfishly, I'll be watching to see which team takes a chance on Jordan Williams.

But maybe your team doesn't have a shot at anything more than a wild flier on an undrafted free agent. Maybe you're more focused on fall practice, spring game reports, or your team's schedule for 2016. Perhaps you're an EMU fan who is contemplating how to best buy a bullet and rent a gun to finally put an end to your longstanding suffering. It's ok, friend. Times are always darkest before the dawn. Harvey Dent told us that, but I digress.

For the casual MAC fan, there is plenty of reasons to tune in to this week's NFL Draft:

• Which draft pick will be welcomed to New York with a resounding round of boos? What a fantastic way to welcome your newly acquired employee than by booing him from the upper deck of a theater. I'm going to start doing this for all of my employees. "Welcome to Hustle BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
• Who is going to sit in the draft room far too long and make us all uncomfortable? It's like when you're waiting for a doctor's appointment and all you can do is sit and read Highlights magazine. "Fun with a purpose!", huh? I disagree.
• Which team will all the highlights of MAC draftees be against? There's always one team that thanks to their ineptitude the MAC draftees look like world beaters and top tier talent. The same is true for the Indiana Hoosiers in the B1G and the Kentucky Wildcats in the SEC. It's a badge of honor, I presume.
• There is literally nothing else on. That's actually somewhat hyperbole. I'm sure there's a rerun of The Big Bang Theory on somewhere. There could be a nuclear holocaust and someone somewhere would be loading up a Big Bang Theory rerun. See, it's funny because they are nerds and aren't good around women. OH MY GOSH, THAT IS HILARIOUS!