The college football offseason drives fans nearly mad with anticipation, sadness, and wild optimism. Sometimes, that takes fans to very, very weird places.
During a conversation with the Belk Bowl, Redditors on r/CFB decided to have a bit of fun, and tabulated all 128 FBS teams into Wizarding Houses that can be found in the Harry Potter franchise of books and films.
In the first book, the main protagonists and anti-heroes are all sorted into houses by a living, breathing hat called the Sorting Hat, which assesses each applicant and then places them in the appropriate house. (Although, there is some controversy to this day amongst the fandom about who belongs where, but this isn't the time or place for that.)
For you muggles (or non-wizards,) we've provided a brief explanation of each house's personality, courtesy of the Tumblr blog Pottermore Sorting Hat Analysis and Meta. We've placed the teams with their respective houses for the sake of space. Without further ado, here goes:
Hufflepuff: Ohio, Miami, Akron, Buffalo, Kent State, EMU
Hufflepuff is a House of teamwork; it’s very group-oriented. Puffs care deeply about their family first and foremost, and want to be loved/think of loved ones rather than any sort of greater scheme or accomplishment. They’re creatures of comfort, and go for something that’s familiar and home-y rather than something strange or mysterious.
Hufflepuffs are also deeply practical, and value something that’s known over something that’s unknown; they prefer what is to what's possible. They’re the least likely to care about individual achievement or House points, and most likely to focus on their relationships to others rather than things they personally have done.
Hufflepuffs value tradition and the past (though not as much as Slytherin.) As the Sorting Hat says, they are loyal, just, and true; tolerant; and very much a humble, decent sort of House.
Ravenclaw: CMU, Ball State, NIU, WMU, Bowling Green, Toledo
A Ravenclaw will always seek knowledge; they want to know the why of everything. They love learning, and will want to seek as much knowledge as possible, whenever possible, by whatever means they can - even if that may involve some risk, which 'Claws are normally quite averse to.
Ravenclaws tend to focus on the future over the past: the possibilities excite a Ravenclaw, and they tend to be deeply interested in the what-ifs of a situation. The past is only useful to the extent that people can learn from it:
Ravenclaws are also extremely individualistic: trying to group Ravenclaws can sometimes be like herding cats (or caging eagles in flight.) On the Sorting Hat, Ravenclaws are least-likely to do what’s expected of them in many cases: despite [J.K. Rowling]’s insistence that Ravenclaws want to be imitated, actual Ravenclaws have no interest in it - they’re too individualistic and don’t care about what others think or are doing.
Gryffindor and Slytherin had no MAC representatives.Those house descriptions can be found at the above link.