clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

HBDD: Olympic steroids should be mandatory

A&M sexism, Spurrier’s back, JT wants Memphis to Big 12

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images

In case you have not been paying attention, the Olympics are starting next week in Rio. I’ve always been fascinated with the people that are smack full of Olympic fever. It’s appointment viewing for some, yet for me, it’s really not all that exciting. If I wanted to see a country waste millions of dollars on trivial garbage and jam it down my throat on television, I’d just replay the Republican or Democratic National Conventions again.

Between steroids, killer mosquitoes with Zika, and water quality in the sailing venue that makes Cleveland blush this is shaping up to be a real festive time. The athlete village isn’t completed, the beds are miniature, but there’s a crate of like 450,000 condoms, so I’m sure they’ll be ok in the long run. They make excellent water balloons and are useful for other activities as well.

The steroid thing is an admitted black cloud. So my proposed solution: make steroids mandatory. Make everyone take them. Don’t want to take them and put more importance on your long term health than your nationalistic pride? GO BACK HOME, YOU SELFISH PRICK. This country was made by people tossing tea into a harbor and potentially dying of dysentery in some New England field and you are unwilling to grow some bacne or put some bass in our voice. You’re the worst. I onIy want to see people hammer curl 800 pounds and have a hard time doing the breaststroke because of their massive lats, bro. It’s really the only solution.

On to the news and notes....

A&M’s Women’s Camp Was Way Sexist | GoodBullHunting
A room full of women and football coaches that think making a parody fight song or slides that say “Get erect” and “Stay erect” isn’t a big deal results in something that most certainly isn’t hilarity. Between this and the Baylor situation, do better college football.

Steve Spurrier Hired Back at Florida | AlligatorArmy
I hope one day when I’m in my 70s I will have done enough in whatever career I retire from that someone will hire me to basically show up, pop down a couple tall boys before lunch on the reg, and basically just sort of hang out and cash checks. That’s livin’. L-I-V-I-N.

Justin Timberlake Wants Memphis in the Big 12 | SBNation
And we care about this because? I love JTizzle. He’s very talented. At least he supports the one team he cares about cough Kenny Chesney cough. But Memphis to the Big 12 is a terrible idea.

The Playoff Moving Off New Year’s Eve | Read Option
Everyone was complaining about the ratings and the problems for New Years Eve. I loved it. Gave me an excuse to not go out, invited people over, barbecued, and watched some foosball. As PJ Fleck would say, that’s an elite holiday celebration. Can we stop acting like New Years is a big deal? It’s not.