clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Which MAC Football Player Names Are The Best Movie Titles?

It's an important question: which current MAC football player names are the best movie titles? Not which players would make for great biopics; just their name as a title, in a movie completely unrelated to them. Basically we are making fun of people's names.

streetsigngenerator.com

Akron: Nico Caponi

Plot: Obviously something set in Italy, but WITH A TWIST. Something that qualifies as a foreign film, with English subtitles. A coming of age film that you don't really understand.

Ball State: Horactio Banks

Plot: A detective movie WITH A TWIST. An oddball character as the protagonist. Set in the 1910s. Murder mystery, obviously.

BGSU: Paul Swan

Plot: A delightful Pixar movie. Paul Swan is a swan unlike the other swans, because he likes to make jokes while the rest of them hunt for fish and try to find a new lake after their current one becomes overcome with jet skis.

Buffalo: Colby Way

Plot: A woman grows up to be a successful businesswoman, the CEO of a company, but returns to her childhood home on Colby Way to get back to her roots and find out what's really important in life. WITH A TWIST.

CMU: Alex Fine

Plot: A slightly offbeat but pleasing flick about a happy-go-lucky teenage boy who can inexplicably start seeing into the future but only by like 30 seconds or so.

EMU: Bronson Hill

Plot: Of all of these, the one that could win Best Picture. Bronson Hill is a psychological thriller, a bit of paranormal activity, but it all ties together. WITH A TWIST.

Kent State: Sal Battles

Plot: A medieval fantasy movie, slightly gory, but WITH A TWIST about the legendary Sal Battles between evil wizards and multi-headed serpent dragons who terrorize the kingdom of Gorfunia.

UMass: Trey Seals

Plot: A total kid's movie about three crime-fighting seals with silly French accents.

Miami: Jack Snowball

Plot: A group of neighborhood children have surprisingly organized snowball fights. A new kid moves in and struggles to fit in, but turns out to have the best snowball throwin' arm they've ever seen. So they team up for a common goal: to pelt a rival neighborhood (who always gets the best them) in a dramatic evening raid.

NIU: Matthew Baltimore

Plot: The sole romcom of MAC football movie titles. (Colby Way technically isn't one.) I'd explain it but they're all the same, and your girlfriend/wife will want to see it. There will probably be a twist somewhere in there.

OHIO: Grant Venham

Plot: A comic book reboot WITH A TWIST. Professor Toxic is tired of plotting doomsday schemes, so at night he poses undercover as Grant Venham, a humble Midwesterner in a large metropolitan area.

Toledo: Stone Monarch

Plot: Most certainly a futuristic thriller. A spaceship lands on a prehistoric planet where the dwellers seem to display a mode of intelligence but pay homage to a giant painted obelisk. But what's inside THE STONE MONARCH?

WMU: J Schroeder

Plot: When a 24-year-old failed jazz student accidentally publishes a YouTube video that goes viral, he creates an online persona of a 16-year-old female who becomes a teen pop sensation. With. A. Twist.