The Tuesday night game between Northern Illinois Huskies and no. 20 Toledo Rockets is the talk of town. I'm fired up about it, you're fired up about it, but there's nobody in the fun internet business that's worth talking to about the game other than @NotMattCampbell.
Before reading, please give Ya Boi a follow, it's the only good parody account out there that's worth your time.
Alex: Ya Boi, your football squad is undefeated so far this year. How proud are you of your team and staff to finally be where you are, and be a ranked team?
Ya Boi: I'm extremely proud of our kids and our staff for getting us to this point. But I think what I'm most proud of is The Process. We wouldn't be where we are without getting all Processy up in here. I tell my kids all the time to enjoy each win but don't forget what got you here: THE PROCESS is what got you here.
Alex: I find it hard to believe that you're ever ranked 20th in anything else. If you are the 20th best in anything else (ping pong, pop culture IQ, freestyle rapping, etc.), what would it be in?
Ya Boi: I'm actually the 20th-ranked cornhole player in the world according to the National Cornhole Alliance & Association's rankings, also known as the NCAA. I guess I'm pretty good filling holes with sacks.
Alex: We'll get to Tuesday's game in a minute, but I've go some other ones to get through first. You're the second-youngest coach in college football, only PJ Fleck is younger. Shouldn't you two be fighting in a TLC match instead?
Ya Boi: Can this please, please, PLEASE be arranged? I swear to God I will hit that dude so hard with a steel chair that his Sperrys will fly off.
Alex: Let's talk bowl games. I know we're breaking the rules, but which one do you see your bowl game being played at?
Ya Boi: Do you get free guac at the Fiesta Bowl? Then that one.
Alex: There's a big game on Tuesday that you'll be starring in against Northern Illinois. What do you do to get your team fired up about this game?
Ya Boi: Well the first thing I do is play a special mix CD very loudly in the locker room, that gets the fellas pretty amped. There's a pretty good variety on there, but it's mostly Yanni and Skrillex. After that, we'll have a solid 30-minute Duck-Duck-Goose session. And then we watch Gladiator and yell swear words before running out of the tunnel.
The importance of beating No. 20 Toledo Rockets for Northern Illinois Huskies football
While Toledo seeks perfection, Northern Illinois seeks permanence.
Alex: Last year's team against NIU was really injured, but this year your squad is considerably more healthy. How much do you expect that to factor into Tuesday's matchup?
Ya Boi: I actually get to play a quarterback this year, so probably lots to be honest.
Alex: What do you normally doing on a Tuesday night anyways? I feel like these games would sort of throw you off your week or something?
Ya Boi: Oh my God, it's terrible. First of all, I have to skip my pilates class. I usually just sit in the back and watch, but it's still great therapy for me. And don't even get me started about having to DVR Chopped and Being Mary Jane.
Alex: I think after showing vulnerability in the first half against UMass is having people second guess themselves when it comes to saying that Toledo's the best team in the MAC. What's your opinion of the nay-sayers?
Ya Boi: They suck and smell like feet.
Alex: To this point, you're 0-3 against NIU. What will you do if you run away with a win?
Ya Boi: Not totally sure, but burning couches and nudity will probably be involved.
Alex: You do realize that if you do lose on Tuesday, there's just no way you'll make a New Years Day bowl?
Ya Boi: Not the worst thing in the world. I mean, coaching with a hangover sucks. There was incident in Akron a couple years ago after Thanksgiving. I don't like to talk about it.
Ok pretty sure the guy who caught that touchdown plays trombone in the band— Ya Boy Matt Campbell (@NotMattCampbell) October 17, 2015
Alex: So tell me about this player on your team that plays trombone in the band. Who is he?
Ya Boi: Still not really sure, but he keeps showing up every day with snacks so I let him play with us.
Alex: Do you think that you'll find yourself jumping ship to a P5 school soon?
Ya Boi: Not no.
Alex: Game plan. How are the Rockets going to beat the Huskies?
Ya Boi: By not throwing a jump pass. Easy. And also my secret formation I've been working on. It may or may not involve 5 running backs and a 6-iron.
Alex: Prediction for the game?
Ya Boi: SO MUCH SADNESS IN DEKALB
Alex: Prediction for Election Day?
Ya Boi: SO MUCH SADNESS IN TOLEDO
Thank you again to Ya Boi for stopping by and providing us with his time and humor. And to you the reader, seriously, go follow Ya Boi on Twitter.