Once upon a third down
My coach called a good play of sorts.
The QB called "hike!" and hit the slant
But the receiver's knee lands two yards short.
So eleven ran off as I ran on
Everybody's really sweaty and I'm still chewing bubble gum.
Three steps back, one slide left
"You've only got one job! Don't look dumb!"
With the wind to my back
At two miles per hour.
I take a deep breathe, just 32 yards away
I've done this before, the issue isn't leg power.
The issue isn't the snap nor the hold
My shoe's tight fine, but it's still wide right.
Now everybody hates me, because I had just one job,
So now I can't stop thinking to ignore Twitter tonight.
What's worse than that? I'm already on TV
My girlfriend's texting me, "I'm done with you."
I also lose my starting job to nobody
Coach doesn't trust me, "let's go for two."
"But coach, I can make that," I plea
"Yes you can," he'd say
"I see you do it all the time in practice,
"Except for today, for today is Saturday."